the long walk around

My golf game is atrocious!

It’s so aggravating and sometimes demoralizing because I’m a former athlete. Key word ‘former.’

I played sports that required the skill to hit, catch, and throw moving objects in mid-stride, mid-air, or mid-contact. And now, here, this little white ball is placed on a tee. Not moving. Not affected by any outside force or wind. Just waiting to be struck by a club held in my hands.

My ball usually takes a detour and makes stops in the rough and bunkers. It has a magnetic charge that’s drawn to tall weeds and sticky sand. This ball. Hit by this club. Meant to go in that hole. Why is it so difficult?

After way more strokes than I prefer, I’m finally on the green. It’s time to eye the putt. Measuring the distance and the slope.  Finding the trajectory for the right path to the pin. Kneeling behind the ball I’m using my putter as some sort of plumb line to calculate the next stroke.

Here’s what separates the amateurs and the pros. Well at least those that golf for fun and those who golf for a living (besides countless hours of practice and natural talent). It’s taking the long walk around!

While most golfers look from behind the ball to see where it’s going, there’s an elite group of experts that know the advantages of visualizing where the ball is traveling from the other side of the pin. Incredible!

Imagine seeing the conversations that often spark debates much like a pro’s view of putting a golf ball. If we’re honest, we’re only vaguely familiar with the landscape of the course, but we’re so certain that our position and opinion will be struck in a way that it rolls in as a hole-in-one. 

Conversations can be easily misinterpreted when our words aren’t clear. If we choose the wrong club to make our next strike on the ball we send the conversation in a direction that’s far from the pin. Then we end up searching for our ball in the weeds of insults and innuendos. Mean words and hurt feelings are like a bad stroke on a ball in the sand trap. We’ve stirred a lot of sand in our eyes without really moving the ball closer to the pin. 

Casual conversations using the wrong language can become less like a putting green and more like an octagon; moving from a friendly golf game to UFC Fight Night. When that happens we weaponize our arguments and stay on our side of the debate launching the grenades of unrelenting opinions across enemy lines. We prepare for a duel in the dusty streets of verbal martyrdom like a character from “Young Guns” or “The Quick and the Dead.”

What are some keys to healthy conversations and debates? Be willing to take the long walk around. Realize that life’s circumstances aren’t ‘one size fits all.’ Learn to say ‘I’m sorry.’ Forgive others. Show empathy. Stay humble. Let grace fill in the gaps. Be generous. Express gratitude. Listen intently to others. Kindly speak the truth. Filter every word that enters your ears and exits your mouth.

Jesus is considered a master communicator. Besides literally being ‘God in the flesh,’ He practiced many of these traits when speaking to others. He humbled those who were proud. He lifted up those who were down. He spoke words to help straighten the crooked paths of the wicked. He welcomed those who felt like outcasts. He listened intently to others’ pleas for help. He gave hope to the hopeless. He spoke life into those who felt lifeless and lost. He took the long walk around; literally, He took the long walk up a hill known as ‘the Place of the Skull’ just to show how much you matter to Him! 

I heard this analogy of the long walk around by speaker Clay Scroggins several years ago. And while I don’t hit a hole-in-one with every conversation I do hope I’m getting better at measuring the distance to the pin of maturity with every long walk around I make with others.