can we still be friends?

Years ago when I began the education courses for my undergraduate degree, I hit it off with a guy that was just like me. Same height, similar interests and hobbies, both pursuing a teaching degree and coaching career.

Over the next few months we spoke frequently before and after class about past accomplishments and future goals. Eventually those conversations turned to traveling out of the country together.

And we did.

The trip overseas to continue an ongoing initiative to invest in the lives of others through the Good News and basketball became a reality. We provided meals, shared stories, visited widows and orphans, practiced the art of listening prayer, and provided activities for local school-aged kids.

But at some point, things began to change. Our rainbow and butterfly conversations about the world we’d hoped for began to change.

Here’s the backstory. We’re both athletes (well, at least former athletes). Ultra competitive. And super fans of our favorite teams. We both agreed that MJ was the greatest and the Bulls became a dynasty carried by #23.

We also agreed that March was the greatest month of the year; March Madness to be exact! His kitchen decor was the most incredible sight I’d ever seen this time of year! The bracket painted on his kitchen wall overshadowed any other sentiment his wife hoped to share with family meals around the table for that month of time.

But this is what was so upsetting; he misspelled my favorite team’s name! I mean, come on! Sound it out. Look it up. Get it right! It’s not an obscure name from an unknown conference somewhere in the Mountain West or Mid Atlantic. They’ve been a nationally known Power 5 conference juggernaut as long as we’ve been alive.

D-U-K-E!!!!

It wasn’t just that he liked UNC and wanted to see his favorite team beat another conference rival. If PUKE was in the finals, he’d pull against PUKE to the likes of Kentucky, Lehigh, or Butler just to see them crumble under the pressure and squander a national title. He HATES Duke!

For every conversation that we saw eye to eye, this one became a thorn in each of our sides. I remember jokingly saying (something like this), “don’t be known for what you’re adamantly against at the expense of what you’re passionately for!”

But while we don’t see college basketball through the same vein it hasn’t cost us our friendship. Differences of opinions can drive a wedge in communication or broaden the appreciation that differences can actually co-exist.

This isn’t only true in the arena of sports but also in the areas of religion, politics, social issues, economics, parenting styles, and many more.

Polarizing views can make conversations extremely difficult. Choosing a side can be isolating and alienating. When positions outweigh people it will cause strife. People aren’t problems to be solved. Or fixed. Or changed. They’re meant to be loved. And listened to. And cared about. And respected.

It seems our world is full of extreme views. Lines are drawn in the sand. And we are expected to choose to stand on one side or the other. And it becomes a broad stroked brush of public perception that doesn’t allow us to stay true to the core convictions built from the underlying truth of our Creator.

Here’s what I sometimes wonder, where does Jesus fit into the current sociological landscape? Would He be labeled a conservative or liberal? Would He be speaking in the urban cities or rural towns? Would He welcome the down-and-outers? What about the up-and-outers? Would He prioritize the rich or religious? Would there be any evidence that He favored a particular race or ethnicity?

For whatever response we may form to any of those questions, I want to be affiliated with the side of Jesus. Not on a particular platform. Not with a particular party. Not on a particular policy. Life isn’t always black or white, right or wrong, good or bad. There’s often a lot of gray with the daily grind of living life well. And I want the daily decisions of my life to be found faultless when weighed in the balance of God’s grace and truth.

So, here’s the question; can we still be friends? If I don’t live where you live, work where you work, vote as you vote, see as you see; can we still find common ground? Can we forge our differences into opportunities to discover ultimately what unites us; humans with the same Creator. A Creator cultivating and reconciling His creation for a world to come; a kingdom to come.