Outdo One Another

I’ll never forget the first time I was introduced to the comedian Brian Regan.

Of all places, church. Well, church camp.

I was a young student pastor navigating the waters of beach camp as an adult leader. I had made multiple trips to the beach as a camper. Wild and crazy games, early morning sunrises on the beach, camp food, amazing worship services, sleepless nights, and the big finish on Thursday nights with altar calls and worship songs on repeat.

There’s a special place for adults in their 20’s to 60’s willing to take a group of teens to the beach. Goal #1: safely get the kids to the camp on Monday and back home on Friday. Goal #2: no trips to the emergency room.

The camp pastor, Bobby McGraw, began his sermon with a Youtube video. Moments like this can be tense and potentially dangerous!

It’s gotta be conservatively crafted (you are at church camp), age-appropriate, and entertaining all at the same time. You want the kids to love it and lean in (and not call it lame) and the adults not to hate it and cross their arms (not calling their pastor back home during free time)!

So it began! Brian Regan’s bit about the “Me Monster!” It was incredibly profound in its attempt to describe the human condition; outdoing one another.

We live in a competitively-crazed society. Everything becomes a competition. Hairstyles and dress codes, homes and cars, schools and careers. And the social media hype finds us tangled up in this comparison trap where we’re constantly monitoring our friend’s and follower’s posts and likes.

The comedy sketch began with a tame cocktail party conversation that eventually led to stretching the truth beyond the scope of the universe in an effort to impress anyone who would listen. From a root canal to a lunar rover!

Many of us have tapped in to the effectiveness of exaggeration! But the real problem of exaggeration is it begins to call into question the truth. We blur the lines of our experiences making it difficult for those listening and watching to decipher what’s real and imaginary.

The world has painted a giant scoreboard in our minds where every experience is meant to earn style points with those around us. And where we can’t win by our performance we look for other means of success. Why? Because we can’t stand failure.

Society has redefined success. It’s no longer simply measured by wins and losses. Now it’s defined by gaining followers. Disrupting systems. Craftily-tweeted thoughts. Discounting logic with emotionally charged acts.

Believe me, I’m pro competition. Turn the scoreboard on. Let’s keep score. But let’s only do it in areas of life where competition really matters. Because, let’s be honest, there are some areas of life where we’re attempting to tally the points (like Who’s Line is it Anyway?) in things that really don’t matter.

Paul said to “outdo one another in showing honor.”

What does that look like? Well, first of all, I think it’s an attempt to do something and be somebody that none of us have the right or tools to fully measure. You and I can’t fully conceive how well our ‘showing honor’ compares with others. And hopefully that should bring some sense of relief.

The great judge of heaven will measure our attempts of outdoing others in honor at the end of our lives. So what can we do until that day comes?

1. Respect others.
   Every person is created with equal dignity and deserves equal respect. When we were formed, we were uniquely knit together as an image bearer of the Creator of the universe. No one has a right or the privilege to believe they are ‘one up’ on any other individual based on race, ethnicity, sexuality, socioeconomic status, political affiliation, background experiences, or any other code meant to separate.
   
2. Learn to listen.
   Not only do people share needs by their words, but if we will intently observe and listen to their lives they will communicate their feelings, thoughts, and beliefs and give us an opportunity to learn who they are, where they’ve been, what they’ve experienced, and where they hope to go. We need to become students of our communities and the people that reside there.
   
3. Speak carefully.
   We often spend our time formulating a response to others’ words and actions instead of truly hearing what they’re saying. When we do that, we will not speak carefully. Speaking carefully means we should consider speaking (as Emerson Eggerichs says) words that are true, kind, clear, and necessary.
   
4. Serve others.
   One of the most remarkable statements ever made by the greatest leader on earth was, “I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” What makes this statement incredible is this was Jesus’ statement following his subservient act of washing His disciples’ feet; just before His crucifixion. Looking through windows, instead of mirrors, to see and meet the needs of others is an exclamatory statement that other people are important.
   
5. Stay humble.
   We live in a world that prides itself on pride. I know that sounds redundant but we must understand that the world is not celebrating humility. Many people believe that it’s beneath them to get beneath others. But that is precisely the position we ought to seek. Realize that our due diligence of hard work coupled with God’s grace should help us stay humble and see the countless blessings we’ve received to no doing of our own.

While these words may make sense and seem easy while reading them, I know that to truly practice them can be a challenge. I know, personally, that I crave attention, acceptance, and approval. And sometimes respecting others, intently listening to others, carefully speaking to others, and staying humble can be counterintuitive to all that we naturally desire.

So we need help. In the form of the Spirit of God at work in us. May the Spirit of God reside in us so that we can “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:9-10).