Relapse

A few years ago I wrote a blog called “I’m addicted.”

I addressed issues like being addicted to self, others, love, and security. Really those were just the words that covered the evil pretense of pride, approval, lust, and fear in me.

So I made a vow to begin working on those areas of my life to become more humble, compassionate, loving, and kind. But here I am years later wondering if I’ve found myself relapsed.

Why?

Because there’s a war constantly being waged in me; the battle between two opposing forces. Between my flesh and God’s spirit in me. And I feel like maybe I’ve seeped back into some old patterns I’ve come to despise.

If I’m honest, sometimes the old man wins. Also, if I’m honest, I sometimes celebrate the victory as if I’m progressing right along in this life just fine all on my own.

I forget that this little championship ring that came rolling out of the gumball machine of pride and lust is actually just biding its time before it starts rusting and fading leaving a dirty, grungy stain around my finger.

I don’t want to downplay or misrepresent the seriousness of addictions but the abuses of pride, lust, anger, and jealousy can be just as detrimental to our view of self, God, and others as the abuse of drugs and alcohol.

So how am I recovering from this relapse?

I. Honesty and Confession
The first step to being freed from addiction is through admission. Becoming open and honest is no easy task. Admitting to God, self, or others that we’re not okay is difficult. But it’s essential to recovery. The grip of a relapse only begins to loosen as we honestly admit and confess our struggle.

I’m not just admitting to a mess up or a mistake. I’m admitting my guilt. My confession is not to be mistaken for self-condemnation. It’s recognizing the power of conviction that is leading to recovery. Confession becomes the dialogue of accountability. It’s the precipice for taking the necessary steps in a new direction for healing.

II. Empathy and Grace
Recovery is often a community endeavor. One church’s vision is “Nobody’s Perfect, Everyone’s Welcome, Anything’s Possible.” This is huge in understanding empathy and grace. Empathy means we can relate. Grace means we welcome rather than reject. It says, “Come closer; let’s figure this out together!”

Allowance for the presence of others helps in the healing process. Extending a hand or opening our arms is far more welcoming than a clinched fist or pointing finger. Unlike judgment and condemnation, empathy and grace are restorative qualities. Truth is spoken and trust is built as we forge relationships meant to build hope for our future.

III. Celebration and Gratitude
Every victory over the struggles and temptations of life is worth celebrating. We’re not bragging on self-reliance or self-restraint. We’re celebrating the victory God has given in the war for our heart. We’re celebrating not only our own victories, but the victories in others’ lives as well.

Recovery is not a one time event; it’s a series of steps. With every step forward we stop and celebrate progress. Much like David when returning the ark of the covenant. And we should show gratitude for all the shoulders that have hoisted us up to experience real victory. Gratitude is a reminder that we haven’t recovered on our own. And when we realize that we’ll be more likely to offer a helping hand of our own.

These steps are helping me overcome the deepest sense of my own personal struggles: pride, approval, lust, and fear. When I openly confess my struggles, embrace the grace being extended to me, and offer gratitude for the progress being made in my life I see healing take place. Healing in areas of my life where I may otherwise be content to leave hidden or let remain as broken shards of glass decimating my own potential for healing.