Jonathan, David & Pony Boy

I’m a middle school teacher.

I hear it all the time, “Bless your heart! I don’t know how you do it!”

And I can appreciate both the empathy and the sarcasm. So I just assure them that if I act just like the pre-teens it’s actually not a bad gig.

I remember when I was in middle school we read The Outsiders. Nicknames like Pony Boy, Soda Pop, Two Bit, and Curly. The rough and tumble crowd known as Greasers and Socs who were essentially the spoiled rich kids.

Looking back, what amazes me is the friendship that was forged by those Greasers. Inseparable. Unbreakable. Unparalleled. Most of these guys had fallen on hard times at an early age and the only solace they found was in each other.

Granted, I don’t embrace or condone much of their speech and many of their behaviors. But I’m impressed with their loyalty to one another. They had each others’ backs. They went the extra mile. Literally taking the clothes off their back for the other. It was a brotherhood. True friendship!

I’d like to believe that I was neither a Greaser nor a Soc. Rather that I ran down the middle lane splitting these social stigmas wide open. Only my classmates can say for sure. But I did have several friends back then that I hope entrusted their lives to me like Pony Boy did with Darry.

Friendships are forged in many different ways. Personalities. Proximity. Shared interests.  Sometimes forced labor. But the essential ingredient to true friendship is love. It becomes the foundation for other traits like kindness, service, loyalty, communication, humor, happiness, and compassion.

I read a story recently about two guys who enveloped this truth of a deep abiding love in their friendship; Jonathan and David. It’s not a romance story; it’s a Bro-Mance story.

Jonathan was Saul’s son; next in line for the throne. Based on his position. Simultaneously David was also next in line for the throne. Based on a promise.

Israel wanted to be like all the other nations and have a king instead of letting God rule them. So God granted their request and made Saul their king. He was kind of lousy at his job. Scared. Jealous. Arrogant. Ignorant. All wrapped into one.

So God removed His spirit from Saul. And sent Samuel to anoint David as the next king. Interestingly, David was a shepherd and a musician who became one of Saul’s leading servants who regularly soothed his weary soul with a lyre. David also became a leading warrior for the Israelite army after defeating Goliath in Saul’s stead.

Enter Jonathan.

The story reads, “when David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as he loved himself.”

Not jealous. Not envious. Not bitter. Not manipulative. Loving. A deep abiding love for his newfound best friend. The story even reads they made a ‘covenant’ with one another on the basis of Jonathan loving David more than he loved himself. That’s a wildly spectacular kind of love given the circumstances that would soon unfold.

When Saul caught wind of Samuel’s actions of anointing David and witnessed David’s success in military array, he became extremely jealous. Actually making attempts to take David’s life.

Jonathan actually defends his friend in front of his father even in the midst of Saul calling the heirdom of his throne into question. But what does Jonathan do? He speaks up for David. Enraged at his son’s loyalty he actually makes an attempt to take his own son’s life by throwing his spear at him. How ridiculous!

Here’s a side note.

Some time ago I wrote a blog, Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. The point of the article was to show how we actually do love ourselves. And how the love that we once held for ourselves is actually meant to be shoveled in heaps on those around us. It’s much different than reciprocating love to those who already love us well. But rather choosing to love them the way we love ourselves.

The four tenets of the article include how we: accentuate our strengths, abbreviate our weaknesses, accelerate our passions, and accommodate our schedules. All in an effort to prove how much we actually do love ourselves.

However we are called to channel that same energy and attitude in loving ourselves toward others when our lives have been transformed by the abiding love of Jesus. No longer do we appeal to our own desires but to the well being of those around us even in the midst of denying ourselves some of comforts and conveniences we had once tried to provide for ourselves.

Here’s the turn in the story of David and Jonathan. And in your story and my story too. In our own strength we will never love our neighbor that way. The deep abiding love that cultivates that kind of friendship begins with another deep abiding friendship with Someone who is greater; Jesus.

Our ability (and attitude shift) to love others this way is predicated on our willingness to embrace God’s love for us. To allow that friendship that He is seeking to have with us to be groomed into gladness within His presence.

If we want to love our neighbor well we must recognize that there is this new command that actually goes beyond the scope of love “love your neighbor as yourself.”

While we do love ourselves immensely, sometimes we love ourselves imperfectly. Our attempts to love ourselves can at times result in us actually hurting ourselves, leading ourselves down a wrong path, by listening to the voices inside of us that are seeking particular momentary pleasures out of a false sense of unconditional love.

Jesus said, “Love one another just as I have loved you.”

His love is perfected in our weakness. Our ignorance. Our arrogance. Our shortsightedness. The love that Jesus has for us is incomparable to the deepest, most intimate, abiding human love we could ever imagine.

The greatest friendship that could ever be forged is the friendship we have with the greater Pony Boy, the greater David, the greater Jonathan. His name is Jesus.

Jesus loves us first. He is the initiator of this great love. “We love because He first loved us.” Even when we were unlovable, lost in our sin, He came running to us in His love.

Jesus loves us most. “For God so loved…” There’s no way to describe the intensity of the love that He has for us. That phrase “so loved” is incredible richness of His love for us that outweighs all the affections this world could hold for us.

Jesus loves us best. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.” His inseparable love for us provides confidence that we are safe in His care for all time. 

As we consider loving our neighbor may we be reminded of God’s great love for us. Rather than just trying to love them in our own strength or as we love ourselves may we see them through the lens of Jesus’ love and love them the way He loves us.